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Center for Enlightened Leadership
 
THE LENS E-NEWSLETTER/JOURNAL

The Wisdom of a Child
By Kathleen Alfiero

  Kathleen Alfiero
 

Kathleen Alfiero
Associate

My son Rian was invited to be in the Gifted and Talented Program at Reiche Elementary School when he was in the second grade. My husband and I were pleased that our son was recognized as exceptional, and we understood that it was Rian’s decision whether or not he would participate.

During the orientation session, we learned that the kids in the program would be taken out of their regular classes to be in a smaller, more advanced class for one hour, twice a week. Selected students would be with a teacher who would explore each child’s unique gifts and talents and create innovative, imaginative ways to inspire them to learn and grow beyond their current grade level and expectations.

Rian asked questions during the orientation that revealed what mattered to him. Would he have more work to do? What about his regular classroom assignments? Who were the other kids who would be in this class with him? What if he didn’t want to do this?

I admit that it took me a few minutes to settle into the truth that this was indeed Rian’s decision. After all, not every child had the chance to join this elite group, and I wondered if Rian was too young to grasp how this placement could benefit him. Given the implied compliment and the rare opportunity, I thought this should be a no-brainer!

After a couple of days (his dad and I tried hard not to pressure him to accept the invitation), Rian told us he wanted to give the new class a try. Three months later, my son said something to me that I’ll never forget. Although he was enjoying the class and was excited about the science project he was working on, Rian told me that he was uncomfortable when he left his regular class each day. When I asked him why, he said, “I feel bad for the kids who don’t get to go.” With a soft, troubled voice he continued, “Aren’t they gifted and talented too?”

Many years later, when I was working in a large public high school, I helped create a study circle project designed to promote a healthier school environment. Small groups of eight—made up of students, teachers, administrators, coaches, bus drivers, cafeteria workers, guidance counselors…everyone in the school—met four mornings in a row to talk about what was going well in the school and to discuss ideas and ways to make improvements. Everyone’s voice was equally valued in the process; their input was recorded in a document was used to guide the development of meaningful, fun ways to make our school a happier and healthier place for everyone.

The inspiration for this project came, in part, from my appreciation of the importance of developing valuable projects that would take advantage of and foster the gifts and talents of young people. To come up with a list of potential student facilitators, I met with the teachers and asked each of them to give me the names of three students who had different strengths and abilities, and who they had observed demonstrating some leadership qualities (even if the focus of their leadership was less desirable).

I met individually with each of the students who had been recommended and invited them to participate in the project. I told them what their role and responsibilities would be if they agreed to become a group facilitator and assured them that we needed them to make this project a success.

One young man, Neal, came to our meeting wearing a heavy, brightly colored, striped woolen cap that gripped his head tightly. I noticed it immediately because it was a particularly warm day in April.

I told Neal that a teacher gave me his name because she thought he was a good leader. He tried to convince me that it was a mistake. He said he knew another kid with the same first and last name and told me that I should go looking for him. I asked Neal if he was a sophomore and if he had Mrs. Gordon for homeroom. “Yup,” he said, “but it can’t be me you want.” He looked nervous. “No one has ever said I was good at anything, never mind that I’m a leader!” It took two visits with Neal to convince him to give it a try.

Eventually, 52 students, from freshmen to seniors, were trained as facilitators of the study circle conversations. The same number of community volunteers, mostly parents, were trained to co-facilitate with each student. The students and adults were eager to attend the facilitator training where they would meet their co-facilitator.

I began to plan the training session—and Neal rose to the occasion! He had become passionate about the project and asked me if he could work as my assistant. I was delighted! He had marvelous suggestions for how the training could unfold, and his playful leadership style made the process easier and more fun for me. Neal was wonderful with people of all ages, flexible and intuitive, and became a terrific group facilitator. The training session with 104 student and adult facilitators was a great success, much to Neal’s credit.

While we were getting ready for the event, the days became warmer. Neal finally admitted, in the privacy of my office, that his head was hot and uncomfortable. The next day he showed up looking like a different kid than the one I had met weeks before! He looked inches taller, a bit older, more confident and happy. Plus, much to Neal’s surprise, the girls loved his full head of curly black hair!

The profound question that Rian had asked me confirmed that he was a wise young boy who, at 6 years old, understood that we are all gifted and talented and exceptional in our own special way. The implied point embedded in Rian’s question—that Education itself isthe Gifted and Talented Program—influenced me throughout my career in education.

It is not uncommon that a program like the Gifted and Talented Program is inserted into a school as a separate program and offered to a limited number of students, yet many of these ideas reflect the very core of the school’s true purpose. Every child deserves to be noticed and supported for his or her unique and special qualities and innate talents that make them who they are.

Great teachers, and many other adults who work in schools, know this; despite the external pressures placed on them, they continue to see the good in young people and to acknowledge what is special about them. Kids always feel good about themselves in the presence of such caring and understanding adults.

At a statewide event I co-created in Maine to honor all the people who teach and support kids in schools, called Celebrate School People, I had the distinct honor to interview hundreds of people. I asked every person the same question: “Is there a teacher or other school person who made a difference in your life? If so, who is that person and what is your story about them?”

The universal theme in response to my question, without exception, was that the teacher or other adult whom the person remembered was someone who had believed in them and appreciated their unique qualities and talents. Many people recalled hearing from their favorite educator, “You can be anything you want to be!”


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